If you remember my last post… I was all like, “WooHoo! I have flapity skin and I don’t care!!!” LOL! And for the most part… I really don’t. But for those of us who are TRYING to keep it real… I have to confess. I’ve been in Birmingham on business and since I am sans kiddos, I thought it would be great to go shopping for the much needed new bra.😖 Well, Soma bras are supposed to be awesome bras for “mature” breasts. Mine are just flat out old… deflated, saggy, and/or pitiful these days. I mean, back in the day… I had titties that would turn a head! Those, along with my eyes, have always been a point of confidence for me. Anyway… I went to the store. Having no clue where I would be size wise, I had the gal measure me. 38DDD. I tried on forty-leven bras and finally settled on one. Still not feeling it though. I got back to the hotel and put it on again. Staring at myself. Not happy. Got up the next morning and put it on. Not happy. Took it off. That afternoon… I returned the bra. Tried on another 16 dozen… Bought a different one. I went to the car and cried on the phone to my husband. Poor fella. He didn’t even know what to say. I just cried. I had an image in my mind as to what it should be and my body wasn’t cooperating. Extra skin oozing out under my arms. Not fat, but skin. It had no where to go. Then the extra back skin was bunching up under the band in the back… making it look like fat rolls… but it was just skin with no where to go. I was devistated. I went right back in the store I had just come out of and returned the bra again. I know the girls thought I was NUTSO! Maybe I am. Now let me say this… In the moment, I broke down and cried terribly. I wanted to be a VS model. But I am not. So I went back to the mall and went into about 4 stores I haven’t been able to shop in for years (Limited, Chicos, etc.) and put on some cute ass clothes in size 14. I didn’t buy anything… Just took pictures and sent them to my husband! LOL! I felt great! So remember… We will all have moments of feeling awful about the damage that has happened to our bodies. Especially since we did it to ourselves. BUT you don’t have to stay there. See your beauty. See what everyone else sees. Love yourself!
See… I’m still sexy and cute even though my extra skin wiggles and jiggles all under my clothes!❤️❤️
Granted, you can’t see my face… But I feel pretty today.
I can hardly believe it! It has been exactly 132 days since my surgery. I have lost 95 pounds. I went from a 24 to a 14. Can I just say, dang! I would have NEVER thought I’d be so flippin’ happy about this… But I am! I still have about 45-55 more pounds to go… But I am crazy happy with my progress!!! The big question is… Do I have loose skin? Well, yeah! I mean… You blow up a balloon… WAY past capacity… leave it for a few years and see what you get when you let the air out.😳 But you know what?!?!? I am more at ease with my imperfections than I was at 300 pounds. I mean, my arms wave a good twenty minutes after I’ve stopped. My thighs ripple in the wind like you threw a rock into still waters. My belly button is still hidden from the light of day by that weird tummy flap. My boobies look like they are straight out of National Geographic. I don’t care. My body is for me and for my husband. I have no need to make it photo ready for public consumption. I’m 43 not a Victoria’s Secret model. But, I love me. I used to say I would long for the day that my thighs no longer clapped for me when I ran… Who am I kidding?!? I love the applause! Luckily, my loose skin still claps for me! 😊
My point is… Embrace yourself! Love yourself! Be proud of yourself! You’re the most AMAZING woman you know!❤️❤️❤️
So much has happened during the past four months! It honestly seems like my surgery was so long ago… when it really was just a little bit ago. I have worked really hard on my eating. Still avoiding sugar and refined carbs. Trigger foods. Etc. I eat a lot of yogurt, string cheese, deli meat, chicken, beef, pork… I try to get more fish into my diet… But I’ve been too lazy to cook it and tuna never crosses my mind. I need to move it to the front of my pantry. Water and green tea are my friends. I have refused to return to carbonated drinks. There’s just no point. That demon is dead and silent… So why awaken him. I have had the best time returning for a new school year. I work at the district level so when I go out to schools and people see me for the first time in three months… They just freak out! I was at the bank the other day and the teller (who knows me by name) asked me what I had done to lose weight. I told her lots of healthy eating… low carb, high protein, and very few refined/processed foods. Her eyes rolled and she said, “Oh, I gotta eat!” And then I said… And I do cardio/strength training five days a week. She said, “Oh! Girl, I do not workout!” I just laughed and said… It’s hard. Calories in/Calories out. She said… “I’ll just be fat. I thought you were taking a pill or something.” It’s funny… Even with the surgery, you have to have your mind right. It’s only a tool.
Clothes are fun… Except when they are getting baggy and you’re too cheap/busy to get new ones. I’ve gone from a 24 to a 16 although I fit into 14’s but 16 is the smallest size I had in my closet. So I wait to buy more. I am pleased with my body acceptance attitude. I am bummed about the extra and/or sagging skin… But at the same time, I’m pretty ok with being naked. That’s HUGE for me. I’m usually NEVER naked in front of my husband with the light on. Now I’m kinda like… Are you looking? LOL! I love the way I fit into chairs better. I love the way I feel about myself. This truly is the BEST thing I’ve ever done for me. So…. Here are the stats:
Starting weight May 5, 2015: 300
May 18, 2015: 270 (-30)
Month ONE – June 5, 2015: 260 (-40)
Month TWO – July 8, 2015: 239 (-61)
Month THREE – August 5, 2015: 225 (-75)
Month FOUR – September 5, 2015 210 (-90)
So, that’s 15 pounds last month. Not bad at all. I still see a pattern of steady loss for three weeks and then one week of the two pound fluctuation. I imagine it is going to slow down a bit more since I am close to a hundred pound loss… But that’s Ok. It’s exciting to know that in about 10 pounds… I will be in ONEDERLAND!!!!! That rocks!